DRAGA PRIETENE, AM AFLAT CA TE-AI SINUCIS
Filed Under (Articole) by admin on 12-11-2005
La 31 de ani nu ai timp pentru moarte. Vrei să construieşti, să ţi se poarte respectul cuvenit unui bărbat, să ai casa ta şi să poţi strânge în braţe pe cei dragi. Este greu să te înţeleg. Suferinţa a fost mare când ai rămas fără casă. Blestematele de inundaţii au făcut prăpăd. Apele i-au lăsat pe mulţi fără nimic, le-au înecat animalele, ba i-au acoperit pe mulţi cu noroi de nu s-au mai ridicat. Au fost îngropaţi de vii. Tu ai încercat să supravieţuieşti, te-ai mai luptat pentru un timp, dar te-au îngropat ceilalţi, prin indiferenţa şi prin lipsa lor de omenie. Speranţa ta în ei a fost o naivitate, amăgindu-te că se vor ţine de promisiune şi te vor sprijini cumva, neştiind că făţărnicia lor îi ajută să-şi ascundă aroganţa. Nu a contat pentru ei că trebuie să te ajute pentru ca, peste un timp, la rândul tău, să-i poţi ajuta pe alţii. Când ai înţeles că nu le pasă de tine, ţi-ai pus laţul de gât. Te-au şters de pe lista sinistraţilor şi te-au trecut pe cea a morţilor.
Nu ne-am cunoscut. Dar sinuciderea ta m-a durut şi am plâns ca şi cum am pierdut un prieten. Încerc să te înţeleg, dar să ştii că, oricât aş încerca, nu-ţi voi găsi vreo scuză. Nimeni care îşi face moartea cadou nu are justificări. Probabil ai simţit că viaţa este o povară mult prea grea, că te frângi sub apăsarea crescândă a problemelor. Ai văzut că nimeni nu îţi întinde o mână, că te-au abandonat, că eşti mult prea firav pentru a te salva şi te-ai predat morţii. În alte situaţii, la rândul meu, poate ca mulţi alţii, am simţit şi eu asta, dar pe mine m-a salvat credinţa. Te-ai simţit umilit şi ştiu că în acele momente ai încercat să respiri, dar aerul îţi frigea gâtul, o arsură insuportabilă îţi ardea pieptul. Când te-au călcat în picioare şi te-au abandonat ca pe o cârpă a fost cea mai grea suferinţă. Înainte de a te sinucide ţi-au ucis sufletul.
Dacă pe tine nu te pot înţelege, pe ei, cei vinovaţi moral de moartea ta, da. Le ştiu apucăturile. Poate că ai citit ce am scris în atâtea rânduri despre ei. Au furat din ajutoarele care ar fi trebuit să ajungă la sinistraţi, şi-au făcut campanie electorală când v-au întins superior câteva plase cu alimente cumpărate chiar de la firmele lor, ba chiar s-au pozat alături de voi pentru a folosi imaginile pe afişele electorale. Nu ai contat pentru ei. Dintr-un simplu moft, au lăsat doar cinci pe lista celor care vor fi sprijiniţi pentru a-şi reclădi casele, în timp ce pe toţi ceilalţi, câteva zeci, v-au abandonat. În ţara asta a fura un miliard a devenit o bagatelă. Dar s-a găsit cineva să vă considere nişte profitori care vor case de la stat. Păcat că n-ai ştiut că nu ar fi trebuit să aştepţi nimic bun de la ei. Şi-ar vinde şi mama dacă li se oferă un preţ bun.
Te-au obligat să-ţi înghiţi strigătul de ajutor şi te-ai prăbuşit. Pentru sinucidere nu există iertare. În locul unui bilet de adio, te-ai spânzurat lângă casa distrusă. Am înţeles mesajul tău. Celor doi copii sunt sigur că le va fi dor de tine, dar te vor înţelege şi te vor ierta. Ai tăi îşi vor aminti de tine şi nu te vor uita. Cred că deja te-au iertat pentru prostia care ai făcut-o. Dar sunt sigur că nu-i vor ierta în veci pe cei care te-au acoperit de viu cu pământ.
(12 noiembrie 2005)
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